My therapist once told me there’s a difference between failure and fear of failure.
Before baby my professional life was challenging, yet rewarding. But now with baby in tow, being a mompreneur of a wine brand feels like I’m a failure with a capital F. I dropped the ball on my business for the entire first half of last year. I just couldn’t…
By the fourth quarter I was barely getting through my company’s wine grape harvest, let alone running the business operations. It didn’t seem right bringing a baby to a wine production facility with busy forklifts, loud machinery, CO2 and SO2 in the mix. It was crazy difficult for me each day I arrived at the winery with my baby. Even with my entourage of nanny, mother, and trusty hired cellar hand I was overwhelmed and anxious.
My anxiety ran the gamut from caring for my baby; [not] caring for myself; failing my child; failing by business; experiencing an identity crisis; not caring about my work anymore; contemplating a business shut down; and feeling exhausted, depleted and incapable of the work I accomplished before I was a mother.
I knew I needed to address these feelings. I wanted to feel like I was in control again. I wanted to feel like I got this! I wanted to feel motivated, inspired and excited by my
work again. I just didn’t know how to be me anymore.
So I leaned into a bunch of books and resources. I literally had an Amazon Prime binge and Google overdose. But here’s what I initially found in my search for the answers to my new mama problems:
Breathe Mama Breathe: 5 Minute Mindfulness for Busy Moms by Shonda Moralis, MSW, LCSW
The Empowered Mama: How to Reclaim Your Time and Yourself While Raising a Happy, Healthy Family by Lisa Druxman, Founder of Fit4Mom
Warrior Goddess Training: Become the Woman You Are Meant to Be by Heatherash Amara
Parents Magazine, especially the Special Edition “Balancing Your Life: Family. Career. Love. You.”
It seemed like a good start. I pride myself in being able to reframe relatively easily. And yet I wasn’t able to shake these feelings of inadequacy, exhaustion and anxiety. I didn’t recognize my old badass self. She was left behind in the delivery room – hiding from a traumatic birth. The new me was barely getting by – a doe in headlights.
Everything I learned from my research to understand my new mama self came to the conclusion that I’m a different person now. So, now what?
On one particularly dark wintry Pacific Northwest afternoon, just after my January birthday, I ran another Google Search about finding a life coach for new moms who work. I came across a Motherly article entitled “If I had my way, every working mom would have a life coach” by Katelyn Denning, a regular contributor.
I cried my way through the article and followed a link to Katelyn’s website: Mother Nurture.
“Don’t just survive motherhood. Thrive.”
I decided it was time to commit to something bigger than a mini library of self help books for new mamas. While I appreciated the books I selected and read – and they all helped me in some way or another – I just felt that I still couldn’t…
Until I picked up the phone with a professional.
After my initial phone consultation with Katelyn I knew that I had a real support person available to me who I would pay for three months to see me through this challenge. This meant I would be accountable for doing the work my coach assigned.
It was time to shift from this major upset to a RESET.
I agree with Katelyn. If I had my way, every working mom would have a life coach.